preparing The Child For A Glorious Adulthood

One of the paradoxes of 21st century is that there is an overload of information, that is yet anemic on knowledgeable, not just for adults, but for children also. Today, children are exposed to all sorts of information, where monitoring what they consume becomes a Herculean task. For  instance, I had an interactions, with our children and fellow caregivers, reveal to me, beyond a shadow of doubt, that we have a very serious moral crisis on our hands today. As serious as it is, it is yet insidious, surreptitious and seemingly innocuous.... Subtly and silently devouring the soul and morality of our children like a little fox, which is yet mighty in its irreparably negative impact.


They are over exposed to sex, its knowledge, practices and perversions. I mean, they are not exposed to the knowledge, they engage or indulge themselves in the act. You do not need to look too far to see the validation of my submission... With unguarded socialization today, which promote sex as the acceptance social language of interaction of the 21st Century, they are bound to know more than enough and necessary... From music, movies, adverts on social media, we see a large population of primary (parents) and secondary caregivers (teachers, uncles, aunties, etc), who are not only unaware of their role and responsibility of censorship, but have completely lost hold of same.. We even have instances, where the caregivers are the ones exposing the children to sex-inundated materials in the name of music, movies and entertainment.


Today's children knowledge of SEX far outweighs their knowledge of their SEXUALITY. Actually, I make bold to say that our children seem to know everything about Sex, and almost nothing about their sexuality. Recently, our academy dealt with issue of a 12 years old boy in junior secondary school, who derives pleasure from touching the breast of female students and running away... It became a very rampant habit and that necessitated sending him on suspended after several warnings and then meeting with his parents. The school was amazed that upon resumption, that's child resumed the action. The school is on the verge of expelling the child, as his case seemed irredeemable.


SEXUALITY: Is a far bigger than sex, sex is a minute part of sexuality, where sex is properly defined as the legitimate, intimate, covenant -based and, above all, divinely  ordained exercise between a man and a woman, who are married. Sex can also be used to differentiate gender. Sexuality is all encompassing; it deals with sexual orientation, one's sense of identity, etc.
Sex as promoted to our children today
Please note that the perverted sex, to which our children are exposed to today, is far different from the one defined above,, sex, as it is presented and vigorously promoted to our children today, speaks of an uncontrollable heat of sexual passion, which possesses children, young people and unmarried couple of opposite sex or same sex to engage in all forms of sexual relationships, from foreplay, oral sex to sexual intercourse.


 Besides, our children are being told that there are other sexual orientations or sexes other than the two (male and female), which God ordained. At last count, we are told that there are over 58(fifty eight) genders and this is widely promoted by the social media platforms, where most of children now spend most of their time and life uncensored. Some social media sign up page has three columns for gender, namely: Male, female and custom. Under custom, there are 58 (fifty eight) genders listed. You are also asked, 'what pronoun do you prefer? " The options are : male:him, female : her and neutral : them. The social media platform provides opportunity for users to select more than one gender. Research has shown that there are over twenty (20) million children on social media, especially the facebook. The social media platforms terms of service require users to be at least 13 years old... Of the 20 million children, 7.5 million are below the age of 13, while five (5) million are of age 10 and below, and those who did not properly represent their real age. As at 2013, statistics reveal that there are 11 million facebook users Nigeria, and the most popular age group are Nigerians under 25 years old. So, it is no longer about what our children will learn, but who will they learn from? We expose children to perversion, or permit them to learn from wrong sources.


Where will our children get the right information about God. Sex, LGBT, right values, drugs, respect for human dignity, etc? As a parent, getting empowered with the right information, skill set and strategies for effective parenting is key. It will make a lot of difference to empower yourself. Imagine your children finding you as a well of solution? I think it will make a whole lot of difference. With other things trying to influence your children, get intentional, be a key influence in their lives.
Truthfully, the thought of parenting effectively, in a time like this, could be mentally overwhelming, especially when we think that the power to parent, effectively, is outside us. Fear is as a result of the absence of adequate information. Parenting is not a mystery. Parenting is mastery. It is not a gamble. Parenting is a knowledge based journey. You can only tread this part to the level of the adequate information at your disposal. Your challenge in parenting is an information problem.
Linda, a wealthy woman whose eight(8) years old was sexually abused by the house driver, got furious when she heard about it. She is furious with her daughter's school. To her, she is paying a huge fee for the school to train her daughter well. Grace, whose son lacks etiquette and cannot just say 'thank you', is angry with the children's ministry in their church; they should have taught them to greet.


IK, on the other hand, believes that the social media is responsible for the decline in raising responsible kids. Udoka, however, believe that the reason for the difficulty in parenting is a sign of end time. All that is needed is prayers. As hard as this will sound... Expecting the school to put values in your child or blaming the social media for ineffective parenting is the highest level of irresponsibility from a parent. No school can put into a child the values you have not put in your child, and no social media can take away the values you have put into your child. The school and social media however, are influences, no doubt! Our cluelessness is a knowledge problem. Negligence is not an excuse, because we need to work hard to provide for our children. Just like a quote asserts, 'there is no school equal to a decent home, and no teacher to a virtuous parent". Children are a trust to us. We must get intentional about what we put in them. The challenge with Parents is that they are Unaware of the Truth that 21st Century Parenting is No Longer A Gift of Nature, It's a Skill Which You Acquire.


The Five Basic Needs Of Children
A child has five basic needs. To prepare the child for a glorious adulthood, these basic needs, must not only be identified but, must be carefully met. Parents must ensure that these needs are consistently met in the life of you the child. What are these needs? They are :


Every child needs Someone to Believe - That is a role model to look up to. As a parent, who do you point your children to? Be careful who you allow to model your children. The mind is a legacy. What kind of mind are you bequeathing to your children? Weak or humane? Defeated or alive? The point here is that before we present people to children as role models, we must be concerned about what they stand for in their private and public lives.


Children do not only follow the music or movies of an artiste, for example, they follow their lifestyles, believing that the lifestyle is the key to the secret of their success, which the parents admires and introduce to the children. It is visible in their dressing, speech, attitude, etc.
Ben Carson and Maria Montessori have proven to us that children have, what we call, absorbent minds, which aids a fast process of socialization, which in turn form their personality or what we call their psychology.


Every child needs Something to Believe - values (usefulness, productivity) make them believe that they can make a positive impact; be a solution provider; do the right thing at all times regardless of who is doing the wrong thing, etc.


Every child needs Somewhere to Belong - Family, Give your child a sense of belonging in your home /family. If a child does not feel part of a home, he or she feels part of the society. So he/she takes instruction from the society etc. Listen to them and let them know that their opinions matter.


Every child needs Something to Become - Aspiration to significance and pursuit of inner potential. Help them to discover their talents, skills, abilities, etc. and make sure to inspire and nuture them to greatness.


Every child needs the Affirmation of his/her Freedom and Responsibility a sense of dignity and self-worth. Build them up with kind words of confidence; give them freedom to express themselves and prepare them to be responsible.
For all these and much more to be achieved, you must create Quality time for your children as children spell love as time. You must be properly informed. You must take Deliberate action and give adequate, relevant and godly instructions, invite the help of the Holy Spirit through prayers with scriptures.


Parenting happens by deliberate and informed actions not wishful thinking or leaving the child to himself /herself. Parenting should give the child a hope and a future. To the dogged parents, who gives all it takes to raise their children, without giving excuses, you are raising nations!
A protected and preserved childhood will give birth to a responsible adulthood